what a month

September is coming and going before my eyes.

Let's see...I had bronchitis. I bought a road bike. My esthetics course is coming to an end but the most important part is to come, the exams! Yikes! Yet I still have so many hours left even though I've completed all the material.

On a very sad note my external drive took a plunge and is now retired to the grave. I happen to learn only by making mistakes, I had all my photos (from 2006 forward)of all my travels on there. For those of you who know me, I've been lots of places and my memories were all in my photos. I cried. I was upset, angry, and bitter at my life. Why me? Why now? It is the one thing I can always look back upon and smile. It has kinda been my silver lining in the clouds. But EVERYTHING happens for a reason, I don't believe in coincidence. I've recently had a really hard time letting go of the past, and realizing that there are so many more important things that traveling. It shouldn't be my priority. A funny thing to learn from a kaput drive, but only the Lord knows. Keep moving forward!

This month has been quite a trying one for me. Work has really been a struggle, I'm not talking about the work itself but the acuity of patients. We have had many unexpected deaths, I have seen WRTC (the harvesters of organs) more this month than my entire nursing career. Young men, the withdrawal of care, injuries with no hope for recovery, and attempted suicide. No one can truly understand what is feels like to be constantly surrounded by death unless you are there. I understand the meaning of lamenting now. Sounds of a grieving family for the death of their 19 year old son. Tragedy. A sister's sobs ringing throughout the unit with the realization that her loved one's outcome was very poor. For a few moments my heart clenched with sorrow/pain for these families. That decision to withdrawal care of such unexpected circumstances would be so hard. And the preparation for the fall flu season is frightening as well.

On a brighter note...2 days a dream of mine will be fulfilled. I have always wanted to go to a U2 concert. The day has finally arrived! I am so excited!

I have been listening to Pandora recently when I've been home studying. I listen to Kings of Leon station. A song I kinda like is called "No ones gonna love you" by Band of Horses.

I am okay. I am healthy. I have great friends. I have a wonderful family who has always been there for me in all my times of doubt and wavering. My mother is a great example to me of someone with unwavering faith and conviction. I'm not saying she is perfect, but she's has remained faithful, full of hope, and shares that hope with me. She knows how to be a good friend.

What is a friend? How would you define what a friend is?

I am welcoming October will open arms. It will be my favorite month this year besides January when I was on vacation. I am leaving this week for a trip of New England with my mom. I get to see my brother's family. I get to see a few of my absolutetly favorite people in the wide world. My annual roomie, or sista's from another mista, reunion. It feels like too much time has passed, oh how I miss them. And it's Halloween. Fall fall brings great tidings for me.